know yourself, know your sex
Imagine you go to a restaurant and you are brought food without anyone asking you what you wanted? Or going to a restaurant and not knowing what you wanted, but asking the chef to make something for you. How are you going to get a meal that you like and how is the chef going to know what to prepare for you?
We have many social structures set up to make sure that we get food that is appropriate when we go out to eat. You have your tastes and preferences, as well as moods and things like allergies and physical limitations that might prevent you from eating certain things. Sometimes we get things wrong, but it doesn't stop us from eating.
There are many similarities between food and sex. Both can be delicious and our appetites are dictated by desire, mood and taste. However, when it comes to sex, we often we jump into the experience without the same considerations. We don't know what we want or what we like, and we try to stick to the same things we’ve always done because that's what we're used to. Then we're surprised when we get the sexual equivalent of an allergic reaction, or find ourselves unsatisfied at the end of the experience.
Although it seems counterintuitive one of the first ways you can make sex better is by knowing yourself. Start to develop what you have a taste for. You have to know what you find delicious to have a pleasurable and satisfying sexual experience. Knowing yourself makes it easier to set your boundaries AND it makes it easier for your partner to give you pleasure.
Are you feeling disconnected from your sensuality and expression of sex? I would love to help you explore your sexuality and sensuality in a safe and supportive environment.
