looking after your sexual wellbeing
Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. - World Association for Sexual Health Declaration of Sexual Rights (2014).
Our world has been dramatically changed as a result of the ongoing pandemic and a lot of us are finding it difficult to return to ourselves and find pleasure in the things that we used to. When we want to feel better about ourselves, we tend to focus on aspects of our physical and mental health. We might go to the gym, eat more healthy foods, and/or practice mindfulness. Often when we do these things it is with an attitude of austerity, or we find value in ourselves by doing what we feel is the right thing. Collectively, we seem to be really proficient at soldiering on. However, just getting through things lead to disconnection and a loss of pleasure.
I often see clients who feel like something is wrong with their experience of sex, intimacy, and relationships. They might feel disconnected from the experience of pleasure in their mind, body, and spirit. Sex and sexuality is a source of pleasure and wellbeing that contributes to overall fulfilment and satisfaction. I know as a sex therapist, you would expect me to say that. But there is pretty solid evidence to support the importance of pleasure in overall wellbeing. Our ability to savour pleasure makes us healthier and sex has the potential to be full of pleasure. Unfortunately, modern society does not really offer people enough tools and resources to enjoy safe, pleasurable, and satisfying sexual experiences throughout their lifespan.
Reconnecting with your sexuality doesn’t have to be something that you wait to do when you feel like something is wrong. It is a journey of self-discovery that should be approached with a sense of curiosity, wonder, and playfulness. That doesn’t mean you have to get super kinky or try things you’re not sure about. You can start by re-learning where you feel pleasure in your body, or thinking about your likes, wants and desires. What motivates you to have sex? What things make you feel comfortable or uncomfortable? How do you communicate what you like?
Ultimately, pleasure is a lifelong journey of self-discovery that should be curiously explored so that you can reach your unique sexual potential.
If you are interested in deepening your sexuality and exploring your sexual health, I would love to help! Please get in contact for an appointment or a chat.
